Feeling Exposed

MarieEmiciLivetEvergreenPic

Dear friends. The title of this post is appropriate because this photo of me was taken with film (it does still exist) by the superb Meg Fish Photography at a photo shoot in Southern Oregon. First of all, I want to say, that I am very nervous in front of the camera. I don’t know what to do. I am not sure why this happens because I am always happy to share and visit with anyone but when a lens comes out and points toward me, I sort of panic. This attitude is a waste of time, I know this, so I never decline a photo despite my lingering angst. I have photos of my family who have passed on that I treasure. TREASURE. Who am I to rob my loved ones, in this generation and beyond, of this same pleasure? Will my great, great, great grandchildren love this photo? Will one of them own Evergreen the bouquet that I made with my own hands pictured resting on my lap? Will they see themselves in me?  I see my mother’s face sometimes when I pass a mirror. It’s just a glimpse in my peripheral vision but there nonetheless. We all have a story to tell. We live lives that are full of love, choices, work, friends and the outward ripples we create just by being here. I am not afraid to walk into a room and meet new people. Why should I suddenly fear a mechanical eye over an organic one? I guess what I am saying is be present in both the actual present tense and the remembrances of it. Don’t wait, we never know how long we have. XO -Marie